there is this one thing he cant let go; he brought it up again last night; it has been over a month since it was first discussed; i thought he was in the process of letting it go; i guess i was wrong; it was brought to my attention that he dwells on it often; could there be trust in the future, any sense of forgiveness, can we move on?; this was a devastating blow, i understand that, but at what point do we start putting it behind us; i am happy where i am; i want no one else, i think about no one else, i dont talk to anyone else; i am in love; truly; i cried hard; i am trying to get over this all; i want to move on with our lives and settle down; there are days when he confesses things like this that i feel as if i dont deserve my engagement ring; why be engaged if there is no trust and no forgiveness?; i want to be loved; i have felt empty and lonely lately; i am starting to understand why; jason is pulling away at times because of how he feels; i am sinking into a rut; a slight bit of depression perhaps; i dont want to feel like this; i want to work through this; maybe i should just let go, let him move on; he claims he is happy here and if he wasnt then he wouldnt be here; my heart hurts thinking about it; i want to smile and know there is something worth smiling about; i ache; my soul;