we both have to get up at 5 in the morning. we both have a long day of work ahead of us tomorrow and plans for tomorrow night. its gonna be exhausting. he wants to go out tonight to hang with his boys. he needs sleep and i need him so i can sleep. its 10 already. he wont be home till 11-12 or later. thats not good. and he is taking the truck, which has only been on the road for a day. it doesnt seem to be running 100 percent. its nerve-racking. i need him here. i want him here. i dont know what to do if he goes. i cant sleep alone in this house, never could. i hurt inside. i just dont want him to see that. idk. i guess i just need to go to bed and get over it. if he goes, he goes. if not, its bedtime for both of us. i am tired of morning shift. i fucking hate it. i hate not being able to be social on a friday night or even a saturday night. the best bet i have is saturday nights because i dont have to be in til 7 on sunday. fuck. thats all. i’m ending on that note. fuck.