Lately I have been pushing the issue of marriage with Jason. Its hard to pinpoint why. I just have. I think part of it is that we have lived together forever and we co-own or possess almost everything. Also, marriage is permanent and would solidify our relationship. Its like, if we are married I can’t lose him. I was reading someones facebook status about her fiance who passed away six months ago. She was pregnant at the time and now she is a single mother. A lot of girls lose their fiances when they are pregnant, or so it seems. I want to get over this terrible feeling that I will lose him. Husband = alive, fiance = dead. There are so many bullshit reasons for pushing the issue. I just cant bring myself to accept any of them as legit. Its exciting as hell to plan this imaginary wedding, but to officially set a date seems impossible. I am pushing an issue that is heavier than an elephant or whale. Its just not budging. Now that I’ve vented, finished my homework, and realized that it is freakin late, I think it is time to go to bed. G’night.